Welcome to the quarter-life crisis! I have to say, my quarter-life crisis is not the usual one out there. Birthdays aren't my thing, because I personally didn't get to experience a proper birthday celebration before.
25th birthday. 6th March 2018. Here's what happened.
Woke up to attend event. Gotta work, still. Jammed all the way to Nu Sentral for the Honor event. Got a lucky draw ticket with the number 115. Fair enough. Sat through the whole event and do my thing as usual. Lucky draw winners were number 114 and something else. Fuck.
Off to lunch. Thanks for the fish and chips - it tastes good!
Fetch someone to Damansara Perdana since it's on the way.
Then off to work the second round.
Work is still... the same as usual. ASUS delivered 4 slices of cake with a "happy birthday" stabby thing. Thanks a bunch. Seriously. I'm shy though.
Shy because this is like the first time I ever got such thing.
Then back to work again.
Once work is done (which is like 10pm) then everyone's leaving. Then I remembered - those 4 slices of cakes. Might as well eat it before we leave.
Then talked about stuff till midnight.
And that's about it. Nothing else.
Now, here's the thing. I never had any blowy candle cake birthday celebration before, actually. Yeah, I know. 25 years old and I have not experienced such things before.
That's the thing - my entire childhood is pretty much... uneventful with just shit all over the place.
I can't believe the someone who delivered the slices of cake to me just pointed out that I'm blushing. Yes I am, because it's the first time I had such a thing. Can't blame me for that, I guess.
Speaking of which, I don't even know if you get 1 or 3 wishes for birthdays. Superstition, I know - but it's still a fun thing to just do. For the past 10 years or so, I've only wished for one thing. The same thing. For 10 years.
This year I wish for things to be different - but it seems like things aren't going to work out either.
Firstly, I spent my birthdays alone. I want some accompaniment this year, and I forced my way for it. Though, the company is just... well... just like any other day. Nothing special. Not even a midnight "happy birthday" from those I care for, actually.
Disappointing? Yeah, too many times till I'm numb.
Then there's the whole birthday gift thing. I know, I know. I have most of the things that I want already - but it's still nice to get something for lolz. Small gift as a memento.
It's just good to receive something after giving out so much and so many.
Good to know that I'm actually appreciated.
Good to know that there are people who care.
Good to know that I'm worthy enough.
Good to know that I'm actually in someone's mind and heart.
So that's the entire day of my 25th birthday. Quarter century old. Pretty lame.
Too late to do anything to change it now, I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'll still do what I do. Some might say it's unhealthy, but that's just me. I'm selfless to the point where even those who who are close to me just don't really acknowledge me and my own things.
Birthdays aren't meant to be such a big fuss about, but it goes to show how much someone cares about you as an individual person. How much you mean to others. And I know, I'm too old to experience a proper birthday celebration now, but I still hope to have at least once.
That's just life. My life.
That's the bittersweet memories of early March.
And I absolutely have no hope in changing that.
Prove me wrong. I dare you.
