Ohana

Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. For me, friends = family.

Remember, life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess. And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess. These people are your real friends in life. They are the ones who matter most.

Here are 15 things real friends do differently:

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/04/23/15-things-real-friends-do-differently/



They stick around. – The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on. We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are.

Tension and stress

Stress,  strain and tension. They're all familiar words as physical quantitative numbers.

I'm talking about the mental one.

Assignments that can't be solved, questions that are irrelevant, clueless lecturers and 6 inch-thick textbooks.

I wonder how someone can balance a life like this.

Studies, friends, clubs, personal

How?

I have too much more to learn; friendship, socializing, all those things that is SUPPOSED to be learn at younger age but I never got a chance.

I'm already stressing myself out. Any more and I'll be ill.

I feel like suiciding.

Someone.
Someone, please.
Someone. Please, help me.
Help.
Help me.

What do you want from me?

Tell me, what do you want from me?

I got some little cheerful, so I smile and I laugh. But no, Brother Matthew (one of founder founder of St. Michael Ipoh) and this super loud lecturer seems to be having something against me.

Questioning my reason to smile. Picking on me because I smile.

Can't I smile?

If I don't smile, you guys say that I'm emotional. So I tried to look at the silver lining around the gloomy clouds and smiled, yet I got picked because I'm smiling.

So tell me world :

What
is
it
that
you
want
????????????????

From high school till now. Things never change eh?

Learned something

Can you guess what I'm good at?

Being an introvert.

The night I cried myself to sleep

99% of those old visitors don't even know that I changed my blog to this site... initials of my name, one Y and two Ks.
Indirectly it is Y2K...

Well I did change this out of a sudden. Wanna hide.

Want to know why?
I just hate myself for who I was back in my entire high school life.
Or was it the people that I spend my days with?

Went for DJ Club interview for on-air sessions. Never knew I'd ever force myself to test on this. Nonetheless, I tried and I think I did badly. Nervous, and talking to someone I don't personally know is a weakness of mine, especially the problem where I can't spit out my experiences to a stranger.

The topic I got was the hardest one I can ever be asked. Firstly, I don't want to be emotional on my interview session, so I went on with some of the most typical moments with my classmates instead. At least there are a few fragments of what to tell there.

Getting back on topic. I bet you want to know why, as the topic suggests. Firstly let I told you about the DJ club interview. My topic was one that I feared the most. My favourite childhood memories, which I don't have any. That night got me thinking.


Don't actually want to get deep into details... after what happened yesterday night.
I've been ... just say lonely, up to university.

Never knew what or who friends are. Guess I've been too loose on that, and I'm very... kind hearted and soft actually.
You can see me looking like an emo kid, murderous-like and doesn't wish to speak. But seriously, speak to me and you'll know.


Yeah, Michael told me that I do look like a gangster when he first saw me entering the class. But seriously, I'm like in another solar system compared to that. Serious.



Being a so-called "pro in computer" under my situation is bad. I'd fix up anyone's computer(s) (tablets and phones included) for free because they're my "friend".
They all ran away after claiming their device(s) back.
Only to come back when there's more problem... or related problems.
Even so, those are the people that I see everyday. My classmates.

Ended up I hurt myself more than anything else. So this is for you, all my high school "friends".

Fuck you all.

And if relationships are all about trust, then maybe I'm just too gullible.

720p goodness.

Let's see... how should I express this? Mobile gaming is not really my thing, office-related things are definitely out of the question. So let me express in this way.

Typed this on a full 4.65 inch screen with 1280x720 resolution display.

Desire vs. brains

It's always the both of these which are directly contrasting.
I'll never let desires take over.

Personalities

It's something significant and very hard to be determined, at least in my opinion.

My surprise is that one of the group in my class did the topic on personalities in a video forum. As usual, everything is very vague. I understood partially yet questions are popping out.

Simple classifications of personalities from the 4 basic elements, earth, wind, fire and water, to the current Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and also a major contribution by Carl Jung.

Here you have 16 different personalities. Testing by introversion or extroversion, intuitive or sensor, thinking or sensing, feeling or perception. Somehow I took these tests before when I completed SPM and I got INTJ.

Seems like the consistency is there. I retook one exam and I got back INTJ.

INTJ - one of the rarest personalities in the world.
Rarity makes me happy! XD

I then Google'd for a lot of INTJ personality profiles and most of the written statements overlaps each other, namely these :

• apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything
• produces an unusual independence of mind 
• perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play 
• possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability 
• really want people to make sense 
• less sociable
• value intelligence, knowledge, and competence
• generates ideas and possibilities 
• putting their ideas into a useful form 
• spend a lot of time inside their own minds

Sources of it is from here and here.

I always wondered what and who I am. Personality tests are one thing that I don't really trust, given in vagueness and some inconsistency between tests, but gives an outline of who we are.

Given that I am with an INTJ personality, one of the rarest personality of all, is indeed fascinating even for myself. I value rarity as it sets a gap between mainstream and themselves. Personally speaking, I don't think I found anyone that came across in my life that has such personality. After all, it's still one of the rarest personality in the world.

One thing I'm amazed when I retook the exam is that the results are same as before. Guess I'm true to who I am.

To everyone,

Be yourself!

High school

It's been more than a year since I last set foot in my high school. It turned 100 years old this year, so happy birthday and have a grand century.

Happy 100th birthday!

St. Michael's Institution Ipoh. First started off as a rented Malay house (I think) during 1912 with all the discriminated students from other schools attending this school's first class session in Kampung Pisang.

From there, 100 years have passed. Year 2012 is the year we celebrate St.Michael's Institution Ipoh's 100th birthday.

Lucky enough I'm the 98th year's class monitor for class 5SC4. Proud? Not really.

___________________________________________________________

Celebration ends. I'm going to continue with my ranting. It's not about the school, it's the people.

I've seen such ignorant teachers, discriminated students, gangster students and also stuck-up attitude students.

I think I can consider myself as a victim of discrimination. You might say this is due to me myself as an introvert, and yes, I agree as this is a valid point. I find myself not wanting to speak. Not wanting to break the cold ice. Not wanting to communicate. Maybe this is due to the little gut I have to open my mouth or plainly want to avoid any conversation.

Best example of this is the barber. While the barber cuts my hair, she tend to speak a lot and ask me a lot of questions. I tend to answer in a very vague, short sentences in a soft voice.

Being an introvert is already a big disadvantage as no one will ever care about you. You are totally invisible in their eyes, well, at least in this school.

I guess it's a typical high school situation here, typical discrimination and stuff like that.

Obviously nearly everyone in high school is with a herd mentality and does not manifest the differences among each other. I am one that walks funny, talks tech and listens to weird music. Discriminated? Yes. They only come and talk to me if something regarding computers. Well, let's not talk about personality here. There was a video forum about personalities last week and I think my brain got messed up by that.

Even whenever I go out with my family, I always get looked at like I'm an alien with a mask of the cold blooded killer. They all look at me with a "do not want" face. Seriously people, GROW UP!

Let's compare and contrast, shall we?

In high school, everyone gave me the look, teachers ask me every time what happened to me. They all treat me differently as if I'm the black sheep. Obviously discriminated because of my leg by the looks.

In the university,people are more open minded and are much more understanding. They approach with a friendly manner and is easily sociable though I'm an introvert. That's the way I love it to be.

Yeah, now, thanks Ipoh people and St. Michael for making me such an emotionally strong person to ignore what others think or why others look at me.

_______________________________________________________

Rant ends. Enough about that, I wish to forget about it and enjoy my time. Just wanna spew it all out so that I can move on with life and enjoy as much as I can in university.

To all - I dedicate this song for you

When you're close to tears, remember,

Someday, it'll all be over.

One day we're gonna get

So high...

Till next time, people. I never ranted much about my personal things and I think I have to do so now to release the poison within me.

Even if no one reads this, at least thanks for reading this P/S section.