Sunday, August 19, 2018

Being pushed away

To me personally, it's been a year since the trigger. A lot has happened and a lot has changed since then. And it seems to be going full circle and back to the beginning where things were at a bad state.

Firstly, it feels like I'm being pushed away again. Unwanted and just discarded. Disregarded. Better to be invisible at times.

I don't really care much about praise and shit like that - mostly just acknowledgement that I'm a human. I mean, respond to me and talk like a human is fine. Sharing, talking, interacting.

Honestly speaking, my soul has been turning back to its hollow and loveless state again since these past 2 months or so. Life has pretty much been in autopilot mode since then.

I'm pissed at times but I can't show. I literally want to break stuff at times but I can't do it.

I guess that's life for me.
Working all the time.
Forever alone all the way.
Not like I bother, though.
Been this way for many years already.
How much worse can it get?

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